Working for a living...

OK. It is safe to say the majority of people don't like their jobs. And everyone who knows me would say that is an understatement. However, it seems I have said it so much and so often, people think I hate all jobs and hate working altogether. Um, not true folks and I will tell you why. It started about 9 years (HOLY CRAP! Really?! A decade? *sigh*) ago...

I had a great internship which led to a really great place to work in "Hollywood." I got to see some A-list stars; I got fed three times a day; I made some cool acquaintances. Silly me left because I was bored of my starter gig and I chased a tech job which offered a bigger paycheck. Then I quit because I wasn't up for extramarital affairs and drugs after hours (call me square!).

So the lure of Hollywood beckoned me and I was stuck searching for any place that might hire me, as I was too embarrassed to go back to the company I missed so much. This led me to become an agent's assistant at (for purposes of remaining somewhat anonymous in my stories, I will call it just) the Agency. I had no previous agency experience but my new boss, Ben, seemed to think I was capable and was willing to give me a shot.

Day 1: I can't recall that anyone even trained me. I think I had half a day's lesson on how to handle Ben's office, learn the phone system, see the programs they used on the iMac and I jumped right in. I still remember my first snafu being an issue with sending a fax. A gent from England was demanding a fax be sent right away. The machine was behind me and I punched the keys and let it go. No one told me to dial 9.

Day 3: The owner of the Agency, Jean, called to ask something I don't even remember but it got her so worked up, she balled me out over the phone and it brought me to tears. I was young and unsure of this new fast paced environment and I was overwhelmed. To Ben's credit, he told me to ignore her and that I was doing a great job. I stayed, but I wasn't sure I'd survive the week. But I knew if I made it through Friday, I could do this job.

Day 5: I survived. And I stayed.

The Agency handled Talent and Literary clients. It wasn't the likes of Defamer's Death Star of agencies, but it pumped out solid work and garnered solid profits. It was the mid-sized engine that could. I learned to operate the archaic phone system, master the art of rolling calls, and understood the benefits of call sheets in FileMaker Pro (best. callsheet. ever.). I got shit pay that even with the long O.T. hours still made me cringe on payday. But to this day, I can honestly say, it was the best time of my working career. Why?

It was the people.

Well, at least on the literary side. I think the agents on the talent side were nuts, but it takes crazy to know crazy. Actors are crazy. But everyone on the lit side was cool. Two assistant, sat on either side of me, became my mentors whether they knew it or not. To my left was "the Magician" and to my right was "the Engineer."

The Magician always joked that the job was about smoke and mirrors; it was whatever you presented -
Boss: Did you call them (for the 5th time) to find out when the check is coming? You: Yes (even though you only called thrice but knew if you called again, they'd kill you over the phone).
Boss: Did you send that script out? You: Yes. (No, you didn't but you'll send it on a Rush now!)
In short, nothing is an outright lie and you get the job done. But you project the image you have everything under control and that put them at ease.

The Engineer taught me about efficiency. He was sharp and calm and always in control. He rarely had to use the smoke and mirrors tactic because he usually got everything handled right away. He showed me how to do things faster and he showed me that you can be a good guy and still make it in this game.

The Magician was all about the schmoozing. He could handhold the random actresses passed his way or talk up a new writer who showed some real potential. The Engineer was honest and straightforward which appealed to the cerebral side of the writers and directors he had to contend with hourly. I learned to emulate the best of both worlds as much as I could.

The assistants knew we were all in the same boat and we all covered for each other. I remember having a few days of sheer frustration. The Magician made me laugh; the Engineer covered my phones so I could take a break. We were a team. And it made a difference.

The difference helped me get to work before start time. It made me finish up at the end of a long night just so I could start the next morning without feeling rushed. It made me work harder than I had to because I wanted to do a great job. It got me noticed as a good assistant and it got me interested in the job. For once, I had clarity - I wanted to become an agent.

The Agency provided a training program. This gave us a chance to put to use the skills they wanted us to do in our free time of reading scripts. We got to analyze the scripts and pitch the stories to them. They critiqued us on our ability to be articulate and persuasive and able to sell it to them. It felt good to be heard.

Becoming a good assistant had one drawback: they gave me more work. They assigned me to help another agent who was young and had worked his way up the ranks from assistant to full fledged agent. Meet boss number two, Rick.

I was a bit miffed having double-duty but Ben was pretty easy, so I didn't complain about helping Rick. Rick was easy-going, self-sufficient, and a nice guy. I figured it was going to be alright.

Well, it was better than alright. Rick was awesome. I found someone who could be my mentor.
He didn't shut me off from his conversations unlike nice but paranoid Ben. (Gossip mills told me Ben did way too much coke in the eighties which probably led to his poor memory and insatiable paranoia.) Rick talked to me like a comrade, not an assistant. He told me to read contracts so I could learn the business side of the deals. He listened to my thoughts on movies in general. And get this - on my birthday, the crew wanted to take me to lunch. On my way out, I "invited" Rick (knowing he'd never dine with all assistants) to my birthday lunch. He politely declined. When I returned, I saw he had shut his office door. He never shuts his door, so that was weird. Later, he stopped by my desk with a gift. Not only had he gotten me one, he had wrapped it himself and bought a card, and it was appropriately related to Hollywood ("A Girls Guide to Movies" or something like that. I still have it.) No boss has ever been that cool.

I had never been in a working environment in which I felt such fulfillment. The assistants would go out for drinks post work to discuss the day's insanity or go to lunch as a crew to take a much needed break (on the days we could afford a break). I had a mentor I wanted to emulate.

I won't get into the sad details that led me to leave Rick and my friends at the Agency. Just know that it involved office politics, outside industry forces which concerned salaries and job security.

But this whole diatribe is to explain to everyone who thinks I am a Negative Nelly when it comes to jobs, that it IS entirely possible for me to be happy in the work place. It is the work place that has let me down.

However, as much as I have been beaten down by verbal abuse, passive aggressive nightmares, back-stabbing bitches, useless morons, and the really lame in general, a small part of me hopes to land somewhere in the future as magical as what the Agency provided me.

So yes, my friends, I AM capable of being happy at a job.

And Rick, if you're reading this, know that I am dying to work for you again. It'd be as close to the good life as before. That would be more than enough for me.