"I can have it all!" (Liz Lemon)"Bitches, leave." (Boddicker)
"We'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon, and they mostly
come at night...
mostly." (Newt)
"I know what you're gonna say, son. And you're right, you're right. But uh... Biff just happens to be my supervisor, and I'm afraid I'm just not very good at...
confrontations." (George McFly)
"This is me breathing." (Martin Blank)
"Oh, wait. Is she a great big fat person?" (Jame Gumb)
"Dear Baby. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You." (Homer)
"This is a Rouchefoucauld... Look, it tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, and Gstaad." (Louis Winthorpe, III)
"Better watch your back Fish! Squirrel Master ain't gonna be there for you all the time. Next time I come for you, I'm gonna want some cocktail... FRUIT!" (Nasty Nate)
"I'm so high right now, I
have no idea what's going on." (Towelie)
"The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich." (Marty DiBergi)
"Oh, I
get it. It's very
clever." (Tyler Durden)
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia..." (Vizzini)
"...I am nothing like
Family Guy! When I make jokes, they are inherent to a story! Deep situational and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a point, not just one random interchangeable joke after another!" (Cartman)
"My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever." (Fitzwilliam Darcy)
Lisa: What do you say to a boy to let him know you don't like him?
Homer: Six simple words - I'm not gay, but I'll
learn.
You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity. (Bullet Tooth Tony)
You tips on how NOT to make a movie don't make sense, because you misunderstood WHY people make movies. It's not for movie's sake. There's usually only one reason to make movies : to get Hot Lingerie Model Chick in Bed with You. So everything needs to be re-considered from that purpose:
ReplyDelete1)You need to be creative director cuz you needed to be able to tell Hot Lingerie Model Chick (HLMC) that you're big shot to get them in bed with you. Also you need to do something to back-up the claims in front of HLMC!
2)You need a lawyer just in case you need to deal with paternity suit and have to cut HLMC in on the creative direction of the movie, which may ruin your chance for the next HLMC.
3)You need to give noobs important job in case they rat out HLMC to your wife or your current HLMC. Important job keeps them busy and also help them to get their own HLMC so they'd shut up about it already.
4)The show only "goes on" when you're not busy in bed with HLMC. You need every execuse to get in bed with HLMC as soon as possible before she figures you out for the hack that you are. Also consider the turn-over rate. The faster you get that HLMC in bed, the faster you can move on to the next HLMC. The show must not goes on! In fact, you should keep the scam going for as long as you can.
5)Office space is NOT for employees. It a place for you to sleep with HLMC so your wife doesn't find out about it. Get the biggest office for more rooms to roll around, and always keep it empty for last-minute quickies!
6)Remember, don't make any real decision about the movie and don't take any responsibility, let the studio handles it. You need to be focus on HLMC and can't be bothered with. But make sure that the HLMC THINKS you have to be making an important decision the next day, so you don't have to spend the night "snuggle".
7)If the producer finds out about your HLMC and threaten to tell you wife or your current HLMC, fire him no matter what to discredit him. That way you can claim he's lying cus he's bitter (and jealous). Never share your HLMC with the producer to shut him up. HLMC could be feeding valuable blackmailable info to the producers!
8)Always hire a hack director to direct your movie. You need a scape-goat when this movie scam inevitably ends and you have to release the sad sack of the movie. As long as you can pin all of the blames on the director, you're free and clear to sell another scam movie to another studio so you can get another HLMC!